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Dionne's Ditherings Week 10-12 Nov.1998

Only one major storyline this week - the wedding of Francis Albert
Dingle to Amanda Rose Dingle. Despite Paddy and the vicar's attempts to
stop it, the wedding goes ahead, but not without a few dramas in

Paddy returns from Venice early to try to persuade Mandy to elope there
with him. Seeing as Butch leaves her cold, she's seriously considering
the offer when Zak & Butch return unexpectedly.

Zak: You!
Butch: Him!
(thanks to Fiona for reminding me of these)

They throw Paddy out as he is pleading with Mandy to go with him. Mandy,
as ever, puts the family first and refuses to go to him, despite Miss
Piggy's warnings.

It's a bleak autumn morning as the Dingles set off to the registry
office - Mandy in a leopard skin dress with no make up, Butch in his
grandad's (rather large suit), Miss Piggy in a rather nice burgundy
belt. The wedding is delayed as the previous bride hasn't shown up, so
Mandy takes the opportunity to hide in the Ladies loo. At that moment
Paddy shows up, again trying to convince her to change her mind. She
suggests that he wait 2 years, or he coughs up the 6 grand.
Paddy thinks that Mandy is trying to tap him for money and he won't play
ball, especially as she won't tell him about his mum's offer. She tells
him that it's over and goes back upstairs.

Mrs Kirk turns up to act as a witness, just as Her Patrick comes up the
stairs. He twigs what's been going on, and is not pleased (to put it
mildly). Mandy tries to stop the wedding at that point, but Mrs Kirk
points out that she won't get the money unless she marries Butch.

The clan are finally in front of the Registrar. Paddy comes in and asks
if the Reg can repeat the part where they ask for objections to the
wedding. She obliges, but he doesn't say anything as he feels that Mandy
has sunk too low. He's disgusted with both her and his mother, who he
never wants to see again.

Zak gives the money to Laura (who is unsuprisingly shocked) and the
Dingles move back to their Patch. Butch, who thinks that Mandy is his
princess, tries to claim conjugal rights but Mandy refuses to let him
in. She's still upset at what happened, but vows to make a go of it for
the family. Meantime, marriage has made Butch assertive, and he refuses
to give Zak any money as he has Mandy to support. Warning bells alarm
for Zak & Lisa as they realise that Butch actually loves Mandy.

Zak invites the whole village to their house for a housewarming. The
party is going with a bang (Mandy & Kelly are dancing to Tiger Feet,
that *classic* 70s tune) when Zak announces how they came to be living
in the house again. The village look on in horror as he toasts Butch &
Mandy, but she is filled with more horror as she realises she's made a
big mistake.
Miss Piggy (to Mandy): I hate to say I told you so, but I did warn you.
(perhaps her name should be changed to Miss Sympathy).

Nearly forgot - Paddy's partnership with Zoe comes through, and she
hosts a little soiree to celebrate. Paddy's in no mood to do so (despite
his upbeat demenour).

Other storylines:

Terry & Scott - still vying for Gormless's attentions. Scott uses his
bedroom charms to woo her, while Terry uses Scotland. She can't tell
Terry about Scott and is stalling on Scotland as well.

Problems in the village hall when Shrine (supposedly a gospel group but
really a bunch of very bad musicians) play a *set* then demand payment.
Ashley and Alan find it hard to control the situation; Roy tries to step
in and gets thrown halfway across the hall for his trouble. Scott shows
what a hardman he is by doing absolutely nothing. Enter Terry, who sorts
them out with a few chosen words and earns gratitude and a job offer
from Alan. He respectfully declines.

Despite Scott's wimp-like behavour, Gormless still prefers him and tells
Terry that she won't go to Scotland because of Alan. Terry promptly
contacts the brewery and tells them that he won't be coming after all
(he tells Tricia that the brewery made an offer to someone else).
Gormless is worried that Terry will try it on with her as he no longer
works with her. Scott suggests that she ask Ashley to ask Terry to work
for him.

Viv & Sarah - setting a fime example to their children by continuously
sniping at each other since the bullying incident. On the scholl trip,
Graham places them next to each other.
Viv: I'll have the window seat. At least I'll get a nice view on one

Viv shows her complete ignorance of history by declaring that the Priory
is old, while Sarah chats to a child about when it was destroyed. Graham
& Rachel, meantime, spy a quick opportunity to have a quick snog when
Viv (and the class) spot them. Another cue for Viv to enter Superbitch
mode, as she chastises them for setting a bad example to Her Donna, and
dragging Rachel's affair with Jack into the equation as well.

Now which lurker was it who said that Viv should go? No way! She could
teach the younger characters plenty about being a complete cow.