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Dionne's Ditherings Week 20-23 Oct 1998

Before I start, it's confession time. Due to a miscalculation on my part
I only taped 10 minutes of Thursday's episode, so if anyone can fill in
the blanks (particularly concerining Steve/Kim, The Dingles & the
Woolie) then it will be much appreciated.

Key song for this week: "I am the god of hellfire, and I bring
you....FIRE!!" But before that:

It's all go at the Woolpack. Terry is like a bitch on heat; he can't
keep his eyes or hands off Gormless (my new nickname for Tricia,
courtesy of Gillian). She tries to get him drunk, but to no avail -
whisky makes him even more frisky.

The Rotweiler realises just how popular she is when she walks in and
everyone insults her. All except Gormless, who stands up for her and
later asks her to stay on so that she can avoid Terry. He eventually
tries to shut early so that he can have his wicked way with her, but
instead Gormless suggests a lock-in.

The locals - Vic, Viv, Marlon, Scott, Eric, Rachel & Graham (who are
getting very friendly by now), Laura plus the usual smattering of mute
extras are helping themselves to free booze. Marlon suggests a game:
Spin the Bottle. Basically, you spin a bottle and snog whoever it lands
on. The Rotweiler tries to leave at this point.

Class line from Marlon (part 1): "Laura's got work to do. it's nearly
midnight, she's blood to suck".

The game gets under way. Terry pecks Viv on the cheek, Laura snogs Eric
(go Rotweiler!), Tricia snogs Scott (pricking Terry's ego), Rachel &
Graham finally share a small kiss. Finally Terry wins the opportunity to
kiss Gormless, except that Viv (completely & believably sozzled) falls
off her chair at that point.

Terry gets desperate and throws everyone out. Eric thinks his luck is in
and tries to accompany Laura home.....

Class line from Marlon (part 2): "Laura's out at night with Eric -
she'll need a chaperone. There's a full moon, he's got that glint in his

Alone at last. Terry declares undying love for Gormless, who responds by
wearing the same facial expression throughout (some may say that this
expression is due to Viv's assertion that Terry is a tiger in bed. Me.
I'd call it very bad acting). Fate intervenes again when Eric bangs on
the door, having left his keys behind. In his rush, Terry forgets to
blow out a candle, which falls onto a tissue, which falls onto fireworks
left behind the bar..... you get the picture (cue song). The fire looked
spectacular, IMO.

After the fire
The fire officer states that only superficial damage has been done to
the Woolie, but the bar will have to be rebuilt. Tricia offers to
explain matters to Alan on his return. When he does return, Gormless
puts on her bitch outfit and tells "Grandad" that the fire was all
Terry's fault. Alan responds in a predictable manner - he throws Terry

Kim & Steve
It all goes horribly wrong for Steve. There he is, having a quiet drink
in the Woolie, when Biff bursts in with news on Kathy's recovery. He
slips off in a panic to the hospital.

Realising that Kathy may identify him, Steve slips past the many staff &
security measures that the hospital has kindly provided (not) and tries
to smother her with a pillow. Kim stops him just in time. They go into a
cupboard (unlocked, full of medicine - truly a soapland hospital) where
Steve tells her the truth about what happened that night. Kim realises
that if he goes down, so will she; the scheming part of her brain goes
into overdrive.

Steve (in panic mode): "What will I do? I love you..."
Kim (in scheming mode): "Trust me...". I can hear the bells of doom
every time she says that.

Kim gets rid of Steve and goes to see Kathy. Kim tells her about the
accident, and that Steve knocked her down. She also spins a yarn about
Steve's tendency to lose control when he feels threatened. Kathy
remembers that Steve knocked her down and resolves to tell the cops.

Next morning, Kim digs up 10 grand from Frank's grave to give to Steve.
She's arranged for him to go to Venezuela (via Amsterdam) and she'll
follow on later in the week. Of course, while he's at the airport Kathy
identifies him to the police. Steve is arrested and Kim is taken in to
help police with their enquiries. She denies all knowledge of the
robbery, while he says that he received the 10k from an old
(my tape ran out at this point - sorry).

Butch announces to Zak & Lisa that he is to wed Mandy. Both are
appalled, even though Mandy points out that there is no alternative. Zak
changes his mind later when Butch revelas that he wants to marry Mandy
to help the family.

They arrange for the wedding to take place in 3 weeks at the local
registry office. Mrs Kirk hears about this and is suitably unimpressed
(as is Lisa - still) but relieved that Mandy will not go near her
beloved Patrick. However, Our Mandy and Her Patrick still love each
other, but money and the need to please Uncle Zak are tearing them
(again my tape run out. I'm assuming that Paddy is on the verge of
finding out about the wedding, if he hasn't already done so).

Minor storylines:

-- Eric gets coaught up in the fire and tries to claim 500 pounds in
compensation from Alan, otherwise he'll sue. What Alan doesn't know is
that Eric has a tiny scratch. As Laura said, I've seen bigger nettle

-- Andy & Robert are excited when the fire engine arrives, Cue for the
Teeny Thugs to give Andy a hard time.

-- Graham walks Rachel home after the lock-in and they become more
intimate. Chris sees him at Rachel's the next morning and is *not*

Chris (to Rachel): "There's a word I think you should learn - N-O. Try
saying it sometimes."